All Fortune Cookie texts from Shadow Warrior Classic, Wanton Destruction, Twin Dragon and Shadow Warrior (2013).
- "Sorry, you no win this time, try again."
- "Baseball wrong. Man with 4 balls cannot walk."
- "No man is island, except Lo Wang."
- "You should kill all business associates."
- "You should not scratch yourself there."
- "Man who stand on toilet, high on pot."
- "Man who buy drowned cat pay for wet pussy."
- "Don't you know you the scum of society?!"
- "Man trapped in pantry has ass in jam."
- "You never going to score."
- "You try harder get along. Be a nice man."
- "Your chi attracts many chicks."
- "Man who fart in church sit in own pew."
- "It is better to have loved and lost than to have loved and got syphilis"
- "There is much death in future."
- "(c)1997, 3DRealms fortune cookie company."
- "Courtesy is contagious. So is Gonorrhea"
- "Having sex is like playing bridge, If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand."
- "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you."
- "No one ever died from a broken heart. But a heart sliced from their chest while they looked on screaming? Not gonna lie. That's killed a couple people."
- "ERROR 404 - FORTUNE NOT FOUND"
Shadow Warrior (2013) Edit
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