All Fortune Cookie texts from Shadow Warrior Classic, Wanton Destruction, Twin Dragon and Shadow Warrior (2013).

Classic Edit

  • "Sorry, you no win this time, try again."
  • "Baseball wrong. Man with 4 balls cannot walk."
  • "No man is island, except Lo Wang."
  • "You should kill all business associates."
  • "You should not scratch yourself there."
  • "Man who stand on toilet, high on pot."
  • "Man who buy drowned cat pay for wet pussy."
  • "Don't you know you the scum of society?!"
  • "Man trapped in pantry has ass in jam."
  • "You never going to score."
  • "You try harder get along. Be a nice man."
  • "26-31-43-82-16-29"
  • "Your chi attracts many chicks."
  • "Man who fart in church sit in own pew."
  • "It is better to have loved and lost than to have loved and got syphilis"
  • "There is much death in future."
  • "(c)1997, 3DRealms fortune cookie company."
  • "Courtesy is contagious. So is Gonorrhea"
  • "Having sex is like playing bridge, If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand."
  • "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs at you."
  • "No one ever died from a broken heart. But a heart sliced from their chest while they looked on screaming? Not gonna lie. That's killed a couple people."

Shadow Warrior (2013) Edit

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.